Multi-language puns

[Usay Dress A H]

A Russian actor is performing Hamlet. He is rehearsing the famous scene with Yorick's skull.

"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well."

The director yells "Cut! No, no, no, you've got the line wrong. It's 'I knew him, Horatio!'"

"Sorry, sorry", the actor apologises. And he starts the scene again.

"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him Хорошо."

I didn't know that.

Chinese man: 555
Thai man: Why are you so happy?

Thai man: 555
Chinese man: What's Wrong?

[Aridigas]

A german guy walks into a bar and orders two Martinis.
"Dry?" asked the bakeeper.
"No, two are enough."

[Usay Dress A H]

A german guy walks into a bar and orders two Martinis.
"Dry?" asked the bakeeper.
"No, two are enough."

What's "bakeeper"?

[Jest Phulin]

What's "bakeeper"?

It's someone who tends a bar in Boston, where they don't pronounce their Rs when they speak. Should be closer to Bah-keeper. Kind of like the prestigious college they go to, Hahvahd.

Or it's a typo of the word "barkeeper."

[compte obelète]

1.
A French guy said to his English friend in a race "regarde, le premier vas finir la course".

His friend replied "premiers is a word used only on movies, not on races".

2.
Pain is bread