I think at one point what can define what's fair and what is defined by the play of others.
They are all arbitrary because you can't define a strict line between what is allowed and what isn't. In Azul, that's much more complicated because many plays impact directly the other player.
Some weird plays you mentionned does not make you directly closer to victory. Sure with some players you can do/let them do whatever you want, totally forget the rules, play twice in a row and have fun with it.
In soccer, that impact directly the game. You have ~15 others players which expect you to try to make a goal, and if you start doing random things which directly impact them that will not be fine.
If everyone has a ball, then yes you can do anything with it, lose the game, and that will be okay.
If there is only one ball, and you start to hide the ball, keep it for one minute, that will start to immensively impact others players.
That's the main difference of all those examples, so yeah they are really different.
"And they are free to do that, but they do not have the right to force anyone else to." => Yeah we agree on that, even if you take my civ 6 example from the Azul subforum in my first post in page 1 of this subject, I would said that complaining about it start to be tricky, especially if there is nothing to win.
Doing something which can be considered unfair, and can totally change how the game is played (passing 20x in patchwork, playing fasting in stone age, playing with conventions in hanabi...) is tricky to manage imo.
I will add that many of those complains would not be in my category, and should not be done imo. You just red thumb the player, and move on.