Board Game Arena

lefalaf wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:39 EDIT: And, tbhp, are you being purposely obtuse? Others already answered for me but you persist... I didn't need to say "ask for turn based", that's already implied, and isn't working, so I mentioned common sense ways to avoid the issue.

The end of your post was clearly taking the side of the people who wouldn't accept. Like you went "Oh you did everything right OP? Well that's too bad, people may still not accept and you should just see that as normal".

tbhp wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:51

lefalaf wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:39 EDIT: And, tbhp, are you being purposely obtuse? Others already answered for me but you persist... I didn't need to say "ask for turn based", that's already implied, and isn't working, so I mentioned common sense ways to avoid the issue.

The end of your post was clearly taking the side of the people who wouldn't accept. Like you went "Oh you did everything right OP? Well that's too bad, people may still not accept and you should just see that as normal".

Well, yeah. Why should people who elected to play RT be forced to switch to TB if they don't want to? That's selfish. You can ask, but they don't have to agree.

EDIT: The feature is for asking, not dictating. These are people on the other end, not some computer or whatever.

FrankJones wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 08:34 My guess is that people look at the OP's profile and see a lot of forfeits and clock violations, and thus are disinclined to grant leniency, perhaps deciding that the OP is choosing to make the same mistakes over and over and expecting a different result, while inconveniencing other players and expecting leniency in return.

I mean, realistically, most people don't check profiles in real time play, and most just don't want to bother switching to turn based.

lefalaf wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:57

tbhp wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:51

lefalaf wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:39 EDIT: And, tbhp, are you being purposely obtuse? Others already answered for me but you persist... I didn't need to say "ask for turn based", that's already implied, and isn't working, so I mentioned common sense ways to avoid the issue.

The end of your post was clearly taking the side of the people who wouldn't accept. Like you went "Oh you did everything right OP? Well that's too bad, people may still not accept and you should just see that as normal".

Well, yeah. Why should people who elected to play RT be forced to switch to TB if they don't want to? That's selfish. You can ask, but they don't have to agree.

EDIT: The feature is for asking, not dictating. These are people on the other end, not some computer or whatever.

Right, but just because people have the right to decline doesn't mean that we can't criticize their choice to decline. Yes, it's an inconvenience for them to go turn based if they don't like it. But it's also an inconvenience for OP if they follow all your advice and, come the rare cases where something really unexpected happens, they still don't get their request accepted. So in this situation, the people refusing are placing their own inconvenience over OP's inconvenience, which I don't find very nice and am gonna criticize. I think it's a very individualistic mindset to never make accommodations for others and just have everyone fend for themselves, and if bad stuff happens, well that's their problem. I think as a society we are capable of better than that.

tbhp wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 10:06

lefalaf wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:57

tbhp wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 09:51

The end of your post was clearly taking the side of the people who wouldn't accept. Like you went "Oh you did everything right OP? Well that's too bad, people may still not accept and you should just see that as normal".

Well, yeah. Why should people who elected to play RT be forced to switch to TB if they don't want to? That's selfish. You can ask, but they don't have to agree.

EDIT: The feature is for asking, not dictating. These are people on the other end, not some computer or whatever.

Right, but just because people have the right to decline doesn't mean that we can't criticize their choice to decline. Yes, it's an inconvenience for them to go turn based if they don't like it. But it's also an inconvenience for OP if they follow all your advice and, come the rare cases where something really unexpected happens, they still don't get their request accepted. So in this situation, the people refusing are placing their own inconvenience over OP's inconvenience, which I don't find very nice and am gonna criticize. I think it's a very individualistic mindset to never make accommodations for others and just have everyone fend for themselves, and if bad stuff happens, well that's their problem. I think as a society we are capable of better than that.

OP. IS. GENERATING. THE. INCONVENIENCE. Be real, we are not talking about their house being on fire or such if it's happening that often. They aren't managing their life properly. e.g. allowing a surprise friend to take precedence over an existing RT game

lefalaf wrote: ↑15 August 2026, 10:15 They aren't managing their life properly. e.g. allowing a surprise friend to take precedence over an existing RT game

Ok, I don’t think this is quite fair. I absolutely would put my friends over a board game with people I don’t know. If the game had more than 5 minutes left I probably would ask to switch to TB and quit if my opponents didn’t agree. But I would also accept the consequences for doing so, and if it happened a lot I would probably steer clear of RT games.

Oh yeah, but I actually don’t do a lot of RT games for similar reasons, which is why I don’t have a great deal of sympathy for OP.

I"m sympathetic. I play both live games and turn based games, and since I'm playing with folk I know and care about on discord live, I'm never finding any problems when something comes up and we gotta pop it into turn based mode. That seems like a real bummer if you are finding yourself in games where folk don't wanna switch- when events happen.
Best of luck with your future games, and I hope you have a nice weekend!

I think finding a good community often solves a lot of problems.
I know in any format that folk can be frustrating, and it can just be legitimately hard having differences of opinion sometimes.
Pretty much any of my friends or people I know who might ask to go turn based I would be happy to oblige, but not everyone is going to trust you or go that extra mile and treat you like a friend. With a competitive game, some folk will just treat you as an obstacle to overcome. With an addictive game, you might be a obstacle to their fix, or a viewed as a thorn in the side of smooth unfiltered gameplay.
Sometimes you run into games, even in person, where you are lucky if the other player even recognize that you are a human- even if you are sitting right in front of them and need a bathroom break lol.
I hope you have some fun games in the future with good decent people. and less ones where you have a point of conflict, and you find good understanding folk to play games with.
I think with online games like BGA, its even easier to forget there is people on the other side of things.

There seem to be a lot of assumptions of the worst-case thought process on the part of people who decline a request to switch. People playing real-time might be playing RT for a reason. Maybe turn-based doesn't work for them. Maybe they only play sporadically, and would not be able to keep up with a turn-based time requirement. Maybe they just don't play well turn-based because they struggle to follow the flow of the game.

Personally, I only play turn-based; I cannot play real time. If a turn-based opponent asked me to switch to real time (for whatever reason; yes, I realize this would be an odd request, but I'm just speaking hypothetically here), I would decline, for legitimate reasons that have nothing to do with the nefarious reasons I see assumed in this thread.

FrankJones wrote: ↑17 August 2026, 04:38 There seem to be a lot of assumptions of the worst-case thought process on the part of people who decline a request to switch. People playing real-time might be playing RT for a reason. Maybe turn-based doesn't work for them. Maybe they only play sporadically, and would not be able to keep up with a turn-based time requirement. Maybe they just don't play well turn-based because they struggle to follow the flow of the game.

The fact that they refuse without asking questions already constitutes worst case in my view. If they say no without enquiring, it means they can't conceive any scenario where they might say yes. It means they are refusing no matter what the situation is for the person on the other end.

You say turn based may be inconvenient for them but that's not really an argument. The situation is inconvenient for OP too, and by refusing, the other person has decided that their own inconvenience will always be more important than OP's inconvenience. They aren't interested in talking and figuring out who "has it worse". They've already decided that their person matters more.

This is exactly the same problem as the people who concede without any interest in knowing if the harm they are causing might be greater than the harm caused to them by not conceding. They only think about themselves.

Virgil Prane wrote: ↑17 August 2026, 03:06 With a competitive game, some folk will just treat you as an obstacle to overcome. With an addictive game, you might be a obstacle to their fix, or a viewed as a thorn in the side of smooth unfiltered gameplay.

If it's competitive, then the person would care about getting their wins in the proper way. They wouldn't be satisfied with just refusing the request and getting a free win as a result. I don't think anyone who is interested in doing that can truly be called "competitive", in the same way that the people who only care about money can't truly be called "ambitious", or that the people who only care about material things can't truly be called "superficial". Those people only care about the "appearance" of the thing, they don't care about the actual meaning of it. In other words, the person who gets free wins cares that it says they got a win, but they don't understand what it actually means to win a game. The people who only care about money care about the status it gives them, but they don't understand what it actually means to be a person who does things that matter. The people who only care about material things care about the idea of luxury, but they don't understand what it actually means to appreciate the beauty of something.

Those are all very related in my opinion. And as for the addictive part, that's not an argument because switching to turn based means that they'll be able to keep playing real time games simultaneously. That's like the whole point of going turn based, that you can put the game in the background and go do other things instead.