How do you handle people who think they are better than you and try to point out what you do wrong
Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
I would ask them politely to let me play my own game and let me learn at my own pace.
But I would also probably ask them to tell me after the game/turn/move what they think I could improve.
They might be smarter/better at this game than me.
If I am on the other side, being the more experienced player, I always ask: would you like some tips?
No, is a perfectly good answer.
And even if I give tips the first question is usually: why did you do that?
The player might have some brilliant insight I never thought of. I am also here to learn.
In my club we let people play their own game, ask players afterwards if they might explain why they did what they did and that usually starts a discussion of what possibilities there were and which might be the best one. That way everybody’s ideas and opinions get heard and everybody can gain new insights also the “better” players.
But I would also probably ask them to tell me after the game/turn/move what they think I could improve.
They might be smarter/better at this game than me.
If I am on the other side, being the more experienced player, I always ask: would you like some tips?
No, is a perfectly good answer.
And even if I give tips the first question is usually: why did you do that?
The player might have some brilliant insight I never thought of. I am also here to learn.
In my club we let people play their own game, ask players afterwards if they might explain why they did what they did and that usually starts a discussion of what possibilities there were and which might be the best one. That way everybody’s ideas and opinions get heard and everybody can gain new insights also the “better” players.
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
I think in a lot of cases, they think they are being helpful when in fact, they're not.
I'd tell them I know what I'm doing and if they still try to tell me how to play I'll just purposely change up my strategy to be a thorn in their side.
I have done that once to someone and they never tried to school me.
I'd tell them I know what I'm doing and if they still try to tell me how to play I'll just purposely change up my strategy to be a thorn in their side.
I have done that once to someone and they never tried to school me.
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- Posts: 30
- Joined: 12 March 2023, 07:00
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
It doesn't mean they are Smarter than you - it might mean they know a little more than you.Players who play like they are smarter than you
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
Today I came across such a person in Carcasonne.
(My ELO is (was) 125. His was nearIy 600.)
The game started off okay, the usuaI greeting, "gI hf .. "
Then after a few tiIe pIacements he offered an unsoIicited critique of my game pIay .. ( 4 or 5 ties in )
After his 3rd comment I asked him to just pIay . (I dont mind Iearning but I did not ask for a critique either!)
He insuIted me with his condescending arrogance and rather than engage I offered to abandon as he cIearIy wasn't enjoying it ( or perhaps he was )
He refused immediateIy. No discussion. Just straight back to yarping (whatever his agenda was) ..
So not onIy was I 'forced' to continue the game, (now a hostage?? ) , he was aiso now berating me for joining a game I did not know (of this particuIar expansion ) :shrug
I repIied it was his game, he set the parameters for the game and if he wasn"t interested in pIaying or heIping a Iess experienced pIayer or someone with a much Iower IeveI of experince/skiII, he shouId have set it that way ...
The game finished. Ofc I was the Ioser, no issue with that !!
Any thoughts/comments on this wouId be appreciated .. Thank you.
I red thumbed him.
(My ELO is (was) 125. His was nearIy 600.)
The game started off okay, the usuaI greeting, "gI hf .. "
Then after a few tiIe pIacements he offered an unsoIicited critique of my game pIay .. ( 4 or 5 ties in )
After his 3rd comment I asked him to just pIay . (I dont mind Iearning but I did not ask for a critique either!)
He insuIted me with his condescending arrogance and rather than engage I offered to abandon as he cIearIy wasn't enjoying it ( or perhaps he was )
He refused immediateIy. No discussion. Just straight back to yarping (whatever his agenda was) ..
So not onIy was I 'forced' to continue the game, (now a hostage?? ) , he was aiso now berating me for joining a game I did not know (of this particuIar expansion ) :shrug
I repIied it was his game, he set the parameters for the game and if he wasn"t interested in pIaying or heIping a Iess experienced pIayer or someone with a much Iower IeveI of experince/skiII, he shouId have set it that way ...
The game finished. Ofc I was the Ioser, no issue with that !!
Any thoughts/comments on this wouId be appreciated .. Thank you.
I red thumbed him.
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
I am the kind of person that occasionally offer my opponents strategic advice. Since everyone here seems to be on the receiving side, I just want to give a piece of my mind. Hopefully that would shed some light on why someone else would also do that, and why I think it is actually a good thing.
Let's start with the most obvious issue here: Whoever is giving you suggestions, is probably better at the game than you are. Typing is tiring, and most of us are lazy. I haven't seen anyone busy lecturing everyone in every game they play. When I decide to stop playing to type a comment, it's usually because my opponent has already made so many mistakes that it's getting on my nerve.
If they are being rude, it is their fault. But if you get angry just because someone said something about your misplay, it's hard to say whose problem it is.
I usually only ask my opponent if they want a post-match review near the end of the game. I only do that in games in which I have reached 500, and so far I have not seen anyone lashing out at me for doing that. Saying no is perfectly okay, but I think having a conversation is a great experience, especially considering how most of our opponents are completely silent.
Let's start with the most obvious issue here: Whoever is giving you suggestions, is probably better at the game than you are. Typing is tiring, and most of us are lazy. I haven't seen anyone busy lecturing everyone in every game they play. When I decide to stop playing to type a comment, it's usually because my opponent has already made so many mistakes that it's getting on my nerve.
If they are being rude, it is their fault. But if you get angry just because someone said something about your misplay, it's hard to say whose problem it is.
I usually only ask my opponent if they want a post-match review near the end of the game. I only do that in games in which I have reached 500, and so far I have not seen anyone lashing out at me for doing that. Saying no is perfectly okay, but I think having a conversation is a great experience, especially considering how most of our opponents are completely silent.
- SquashEngineer
- Posts: 246
- Joined: 05 October 2021, 02:18
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
When the score is an obvious blowout, I will offer some suggestions. Most explain they are newbs, and accept the comments willingly.
If I am clearly out gunned, I am very grateful for a few quick tips. But I’m not looking for a full in game tutorial session.
If I am clearly out gunned, I am very grateful for a few quick tips. But I’m not looking for a full in game tutorial session.
- Fletcheese
- Posts: 157
- Joined: 21 March 2022, 03:16
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
I don't think there's anything wrong with unsolicited advice, but if the recipient communicates (politely) that they're not interested and advice is still offered then yeah that's rude.
Just comes down to some basic communication skills. Keep an open mind. Don't take (polite) advice as an insult to your intelligence. Everyone is a noob the first time they play a game and everyone always has more to learn.
For the advice givers, make sure you're actually phrasing it politely. "Why did you do X instead of Y there?" or "I would have done X because Y"
Just comes down to some basic communication skills. Keep an open mind. Don't take (polite) advice as an insult to your intelligence. Everyone is a noob the first time they play a game and everyone always has more to learn.
For the advice givers, make sure you're actually phrasing it politely. "Why did you do X instead of Y there?" or "I would have done X because Y"
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- Posts: 30
- Joined: 12 March 2023, 07:00
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
Give advice whenever you feel the need to do so. Most people Don't listen and are not receptive to advice of any kind. Take an Idiot savant for example. Nobody's going to listen to an idiot giving advice on how best play a game...all the while knowing that ignoramus plays much better than you!
How many times must you get crushed before you will take note? I remember playing a game of Imperial. Everybody kept trying to convince me "this is not a War game." OH, yes it twas!!! Took about 6 more games of them getting their arses beat, before they realized - They knew nothing!!!
You're not going to listen because you don't understand. Keep practicing, listen and learn. in the hope that one day you might connect with the game that you are trying to master.
How many times must you get crushed before you will take note? I remember playing a game of Imperial. Everybody kept trying to convince me "this is not a War game." OH, yes it twas!!! Took about 6 more games of them getting their arses beat, before they realized - They knew nothing!!!
You're not going to listen because you don't understand. Keep practicing, listen and learn. in the hope that one day you might connect with the game that you are trying to master.
Re: Players who try to tell you how to play like they are smarter than you
Maybe it's better to do it after the game (unless it's a teammate)? making mistakes is a way to learn.