Board Game Arena

I've played about 500 games. Every time I lose a game, any game, I congratulate the winner. Guess how many times I've been congratulated for winning??

(answer...7)

It's starting to irk me.

Please be more sportsmanlike and don't get concerned over someone not congratulating you. That's not a relevant thing, not sure why you're even keeping count. I've had plenty of games where people have congratulated me for the win or noted my excellent play in a game, but I don't keep track of how often it happens or get worried if my opponent doesn't do it in a given game. They have no obligation to do it.

ArtsyPhartsy Woman wrote: ↑17 August 2023, 21:28 I've played about 500 games. Every time I lose a game, any game, I congratulate the winner. Guess how many times I've been congratulated for winning??

(answer...7)

It's starting to irk me.

Some people don't want to chat during or after a game. Some people even feel attacked if the winner says "gg." (don't believe me? just search the forums) That's their preference, and there is no "right" way to interact.

Also, keep in mind that not everyone speaks the same language and not everyone knows about preset dialog snippets that are there to bridge language barriers (in another thread I recently showed someone where to find it).

I try to normalize congratulating the winner when I lose, if I've established if that person wants to interact already (either they initiated a dialog or responded to "good luck / have fun"). If that person was silent in response to my opener, I just figure that's how it's going to be and I don't say anything after the game.

I've also noticed that each game has its own subculture about how people interact. In Space Base arena, a majority of time someone responds to the "good luck / have fun" at the beginning of the game. In other games, I rarely see someone respond.

You do know that on mobile chat doesn't load messages, so basically you never know if someone writes to you, unless you happen to open the home page of bgg, right? So... people who never respond could have never seen your message.

I played a bunch of the same (short) game against the same player one evening - about 4-5 games in a row. Every time, they wrote "good luck have fun" in the chat at the start of the game. No variation. Just like it was rote. By about game 3, I wondered why they were still bothering (if you want to interact with your opponent, sure, but not commenting on the fact that we'd opposed each other twice in the last hour seemed odd). It started to irk me.

Everyone has their own preference. I do congratulate winners when I see particularly good play, or I often return a "good game" when it's said to me - although in turn-based, sometimes I only see a "gg" 4+ hours after the person posted it, so I usually don't respond to those, because when that happens to me I get very confused (what game just ended? Oh right, like 4 hours ago...). Online gaming is different. Some people chat, some people don't, that extends to what you may consider pleasantries. If they're not insulting you directly (ie. by actually calling you names or saying horrible things) or being deliberately provocative, I figure, live and let live. If it irks you that much, don't play here. Personally, I'd rather have a person who plays a game with me than one who chats just how I want (which, honestly, is minimally, if at all).

nik592 wrote: ↑18 August 2023, 03:20 I played a bunch of the same (short) game against the same player one evening - about 4-5 games in a row. Every time, they wrote "good luck have fun" in the chat at the start of the game. No variation. Just like it was rote. By about game 3, I wondered why they were still bothering (if you want to interact with your opponent, sure, but not commenting on the fact that we'd opposed each other twice in the last hour seemed odd). It started to irk me.

Did you play the same player intentionally e.g. by rematching or was it by chance e.g. due to the automatic Arena pairing? In the latter case it may be that they didn't notice that they played again against the same opponent. At least I for myself do often not recognize the opponent players name being the same as in the game before. It sometimes takes a while, or a chat comment of my opponent, to notice this.
I assume it is the same for other players as well. I mean, please, don't let me be the only strange person with trouble in noticing this.

sesc wrote: ↑18 August 2023, 07:58

nik592 wrote: ↑18 August 2023, 03:20 I played a bunch of the same (short) game against the same player one evening - about 4-5 games in a row. Every time, they wrote "good luck have fun" in the chat at the start of the game. No variation. Just like it was rote. By about game 3, I wondered why they were still bothering (if you want to interact with your opponent, sure, but not commenting on the fact that we'd opposed each other twice in the last hour seemed odd). It started to irk me.

Did you play the same player intentionally e.g. by rematching or was it by chance e.g. due to the automatic Arena pairing? In the latter case it may be that they didn't notice that they played again against the same opponent. At least I for myself do often not recognize the opponent players name being the same as in the game before. It sometimes takes a while, or a chat comment of my opponent, to notice this.
I assume it is the same for other players as well. I mean, please, don't let me be the only strange person with trouble in noticing this.

Arena matching, but still, they and I were actively playing, I didn't get the impression they were jumping between games (they were turn-based games, but just played quickly, so they could have been jumping to other games in between, but the timing didn't seem like they were). You wouldn't notice if you played the same username 5 times in a row? I mean, maybe you wouldn't, which surprises me, but fair enough.

In any case, it doesn't really matter, I was simply trying to illustrate the point that everyone has things that irk them. I didn't say anything to the other player, and really, I don't care that much. For me, when I see people complaining that others aren't chatty enough, aren't sportsmanlike, etc. because they choose not to approach chat like the person complaining, I feel like I should point out that there are others who don't want that. If you want chatty opponents, friend them when you find them and play them. I prefer non-chatty opponents, but I will happily take either. But that doesn't mean I will become the chatty opponent they may be looking for.

nik592 wrote: ↑18 August 2023, 10:30 You wouldn't notice if you played the same username 5 times in a row? I mean, maybe you wouldn't, which surprises me, but fair enough.

Well it depends on the situation, what else is going around me at whereever I am playing, my mood, ...
It could very well happen that I do not recognize it. Sometimes I notice it the second game in a row, but sometimes it takes a message from my opponent to recognize the name. Maybe because sometimes I do not even look at the players name when playing? I don't know, humans are sometimes strange, and I may be a bit more so.

I mean, in real life I sometimes have similar strange situations. When there are many people, I must concentrate a lot to find a person I know, even if I know he/she is there. Friends of mine just look at the group and say, oh "there he is". I never was able to do that. Basically I scan the people one by one to find if I know one of them.
And once already a few years ago, during some trip to another city, a friend happend to be there also, unknown to both of us that we were in the same city. At some point he noticed me in my car driving along some street. He overtook me and sounded the horn of his car while doing so. I looked over and just thought "Why the heck is this car honking?". I did not recognize the driver. Later he asked me why I didn't react and only then I noticed that it was him.

So, yeah, if we play and I do not notice playing you several times in a row, there is no bad intend or anything. It is just my brain working strangely.