Board Game Arena

Why not implement a chat hide feature?
I was unfairly abused when all I did was surrender. I have an anxiety disorder. I am very vulnerable. It can't be helped that there are bad players. However, I will not accept insulting comments if I can disable the chat.
I am so sad now.
Please give my best regards.

-latte wrote: ↑04 January 2025, 13:23 I was unfairly abused when all I did was surrender.

Did you report it?

We don't know why BGA won't implement a disable chat function, but they do crack down hard on any type of abuse, so always report it.

-latte wrote: ↑04 January 2025, 13:23I have an anxiety disorder. I am very vulnerable. It can't be helped that there are bad players.

I'm sorry to hear about your terrible experience. May I offer two suggestions that may help going forward?

First, avoid multiplayer games for the time being. There is quite a selection of solo games available on BGA! You'll love them.

Second, and far more importantly, please seek professional assistance to cope with anxiety if you're not already doing so. Professionally diagnosed anxiety is real and can be debilitating, but professional resources will help you avoid fear and sadness, living your life to its fullest.

-latte wrote: ↑04 January 2025, 13:23 Why not implement a chat hide feature?
I was unfairly abused when all I did was surrender. I have an anxiety disorder. I am very vulnerable. It can't be helped that there are bad players. However, I will not accept insulting comments if I can disable the chat.
I am so sad now.
Please give my best regards.

Out of interest, did you quit or concede? You should always concede, rather than quit, where possible, and try also to avoid quitting as it negatively affects your Karma rating (as you should probably know in that case anyway, from the warning given).

In any case, selecting either of these options is your prerogative and abuse is never acceptable.

Red Thumb the player (so that you won't get matched up again) and report the abuse to BGA.

I wish you well; I hope that it doesn't happen again.

Stu_1977_SEmelb wrote: ↑05 January 2025, 07:52 If it happens again, I would personally recommend that you reply to the abuse with something like "I selected an option that is provided by BGA, so kindly direct your abuse towards them, not me."

I would offer the opposite advice. You should not reply to abuse, in any way, just report it. A reasonable reply is appropriate for a reasonable comment, but there's no reason for abuse and it's best (especially if you're particularly sensitive to it) not to reply anything.

[Post retracted]

Stu_1977_SEmelb wrote: ↑05 January 2025, 11:13 Why? Why is a reasonable reply not appropriate for any situation?

Because abuse is not reasonable, meaning it cannot be reasoned with. In many cases, responding (in any way) to abuse will only lead to more abuse or escalation. What may seem to you a reasonable reply, will often be taken by the abuser as sarcasm or provocation. In other cases, a reasonable response may do nothing, only causing frustration.

There's of course cases where the perceived "abuse" may just be a misunderstanding or oversight, in those cases a reply and and explanation can be helpful, but it's not that easy to know which is which.

By the way, I'm referring to responses in a private chat, which is only seen by those involved and maybe a handful other people. Things are different in a public forum, where any response (or lack of) can be potentially seen by thousands of people.

Most people who would bother to be insulting (in this context) are unlikely to be chastened by their target admitting vulnerability - in most cases, that will just spur them on to more insults. The other danger is that if you yourself become goaded into being insulting in return (and the bar for this is actually quite low), the other person may report you and you may get moderated. For someone with anxiety, I realise they're probably not going to escalate to insulting in return, but I have seen reports where a person complains about being moderated, since the other person started it (and often was more insulting). BGA policy really does seem to indicate you should just say nothing and report the person concerned.

For those of you who want to hide chat, this little bit of css added under your advanced profile settings should do the trick: It's a bit heavy handed as it removes all chat and requires you to remove the css to see chat again. However, it should work perfect if that's what you desire.

Decided to remove post.