Board Game Arena

i would like to play with my friends but it's hard to know if they're up for a realtime game or if theyre just online to do their turn-based, or something else.

i would like to be able to set a status or leave a message - i could say if im up for a RT game, i could say how much time i have for a game, i could list a few games i want to try, etc.

You might look at creating a group -- https://boardgamearena.com/community upper right -- and inviting your friends who are interested in real time games to it. Then you can use the chat function on the group page to let folks currently online know you're available for a game. (The chat function acts like the chat function in an active game, or the site wide "general messages". Posting to the group is different -- IIRC, those posts show up in your newsfeed.)

That doesn't get you everything you've asked for, but might be a useful step in that direction.

https://boardgamearena.com/bug?id=65141 has some suggestions for changes in how group chats are handled that might be useful for your purpose if implemented.

thanks! i'll give it a try