Where does legitimate table talk end and aggressive behavior begin?

[hayduke]

I have been on this site for a couple of days now and, during my time here playing games, I chat while playing. Commenting on moves, asking questions, yadda yadda yadda. When I play Duel it is usually end of game chat about plays and what have you, how the game ended, what cards came up.

When I play Catan, I ask about piece placement in the beginning, and I am not going to lie, get frustrated from time to time and discuss in game trades. This involves asking why a trade was made, and so on. I do this IRL as well, I do play in person!

Now, the question at what point does banter and table talk turn into unkind chat? Is it more of a pornography, I'll know it when I see it kind of thing?

I had an experience today where I asked a person about initial placement and then later about a trade where a person got a settlement from it.

Here is the https://boardgamearena.com/table?table=323834450 for context. I could have been in the wrong for my questions, or tone, or demeanor, but I thought my opponent's response was a bit much.

Thoughts? Opinions?

[Jellby]

In real life you usually talk with friends, or at least the other players see your face, hear your tone, etc.

In chat it's just the dry text, and people will often take it the worst possible way. Even if you add emoticons, they'll also be taken in a bad way.

So, if you ask "why did you do this and that?" they'll think you're blaming them for whatever happened, or implying that was a stupid move. If you add a smiley, they'll think you're saying it was a stupid move and are laughing at them.

[T72on1]

Agreed. While I love to chat here too, I always keep that difference between physical and digital gaming in mind. I don't get why, but people tend to take things the most negative way possible. Well, probably only a minority, but as usual a very vocal minority ...