Newbie here--nicest way to nudge a player?

[rosesayer]

I recently started a game where my opponent is not playing. I took my first move, but they never took theirs, and they're 14+ hours late. So I'm wondering--do they know they're supposed to be playing? Is there a kind way to contact them? It looks like they're new, too, and I don't want to give anyone a ding when they just didn't understand the rules.

[RobertBr]

It probably means they have not been at a computer for the day. Unless they are a complete newbie they will know they have a move to play. You can if you want just time them out and win the game ('clocking', a perfectly reasonable action). If you want to be generous then usually you would give someone a couple of days just in case real life has got in the way (with friends or people you know you might allow even longer - the system will automatically cancel the game after, I think, 28 days).

[Shobu]

He hasn't been back on the site since it's registration 4 days ago, not a good sign...

[JoysJoy]

I recently started a game where my opponent is not playing. I took my first move, but they never took theirs, and they're 14+ hours late. So I'm wondering--do they know they're supposed to be playing? Is there a kind way to contact them? It looks like they're new, too, and I don't want to give anyone a ding when they just didn't understand the rules.

So I went to your profile by clicking your name. Once there, I clicked open your games and found the 13 Clues you are asking about. I clicked the name of your opponent and saw this player has not even been online for 4 days. They joined BGA on 3/1/23 and have not come back. I doubt they even realize the game is waiting for them. Yours is the only game they have going.

In a case like this, where they may not ever be back, you click "skip players out of time" to end the game and go start one with someone else. I hope you can follow these steps for the next time.

Best you can do in this type of situation, if you don't want to play with them again, is give this player a red thumbs down. This means you will never be paired again, or see games the other has started or is playing (unless you are in a tournament and then you are stuck with that bad player until you can boot them for going over time).

I like to add a note if I give a red thumb down so I remember why, just in case I run across them again one day in a tournament. This person might turn out to be a good player who just did not understand that playing here is not like an app you can just swipe closed and walk away from and then I take away my red thumb.

It takes some people time to realize that on BGA a real human is left hanging when you walk away. It is disrespectful and rude to go over the timelimit here.

Sometimes you will find a player that has a really bad karma because they do this to people all the time and dont care. These are rare, but there are a few. Never be afraid to say no to playing them. And dont feel bad if someone says no to you. Maybe the phone rang at that moment, or their kid woke up. Unless you have bad karma from going over time and leaving games entirely, like this person did to you. If that is the case, don't do that anymore and soon people will want to play you again.

You can always click a person's name and check how often they are late at games before you say yes to playing with them. You can always say no to anyone in a simple game. Tournaments, you just know you might have to put up with a bad one, so don't play in them if that will cause you stress. Or, plan your own and only invite those you choose.


Good luck and welcome to BGA. The majority here are great community members who are fun to play with. Only a tiny few who don't care and leave you hanging all the time. There has not yet been a good answer to the problem of them, buy you can have fun anyway by saying no when it makes sense for you

[rosesayer]

Thank you all for the help. I'll end the game (to free myself up), but I won't give a red thumb, since they're brand new, and may not understand how things work. I know I'm still figuring things out myself!