Azul Cup Finals – Versauen
Just as you thought controversy was over in the Azul Cup, the world was in shock today after it learned that the reason that the German team was so slow was not their fault but was caused by a chrome extension that had slowed their BGA games down to a mere 5 FPS, which was the source of their own 5 MPW (Moves Per Week).
This insidious chrome extension has been developed by none other than Bulgaria’s and Azul Cup’s own dyslexic C0d3M0nk3y, C0d3N1nj4. The Mind Sport Olympiad community (all 51 of them) were up in arms when they learnt that C0d3N1nj4 had been coding away for 7.5 hours a day for the past year to develop an intelligent program that was capable of not only counting tiles, but that it could do it backwards… and accurately *GASP*.
We caught up with the voice of Azul, Priptonite, to see what he had to say on the topic.
Priptonite: “Son, not since the invention of the telegram have I seen something this ground breaking. It’ll be revolutionary for sure, with this new-fangled thingy-ma-jig, I’ll be able to cut my moving pictures in half.”
We can only hope so… we can only hope so. Looking for sense elsewhere, we turned to the god of Azul, Zeus, to see what he had to say:
Zeus: “Man is not supposed to wield this kind of power! Need I remind thee of the fate that befell Prometheus? I will if I must!”
With little sense in the Azul Cup ranks, we turned to the most intelligent people on the planet and spoke with MSO’s head of statistical analysis, Matt, for his view:
Matt: “It’s not just counting to 20 once, it’s doing it five times… FIVE times! Even for a Mind Sport Olympiad such as me, this would take several minutes, but for a normal human, with a normal sized brain, it would take them hours, maybe days… to even the playing field in this way is simply cheating. I spit on this program sir, and I spit on the developer that made it.”
Strong words there from stat Matt… strong words indeed.
Well, as the world learns to wrestle with this newfound technology, let’s go and look at today’s action from the Azul Cup.
Tournament One:
The dust finally settled on the celestial battle between Zeus and Phosphate_, and when it cleared, Phosphate stood victorious, winning by 4 points in a game for the ages. This is big set back for what was a perfect record so far in this competition for Zeus. KevinWise9 is hanging on by the seat of his pants whilst Zeus and Phosphate_ face down Micalis, who is taking both to the wire and may cause an upset yet.
Tournament Two:
Speaking of upsets, crowd pleaser Bangerz was defeated by AbCd in a battle that went to the 6th round. But all was not lost, as Injured Pigeon raced to his sweetheart’s rescue and overcome all odds by delivering the only defeat to AbCd in the competition. Fans were lined up outside Injured Pigeon’s dressing room to learn how he’d overcome the German Alp.
Injured Pigeon: “With the help of the MSO we devised a cunning plan. First, I went on a two-week long bender in a bid to reduce my ELO and bemoan over Discord how I had fallen to sub Master level, this was used to lull Lord Sloth into a false sense of security. Then, I played him at his own mind games. I took two whole days to decide my first move of the game, deciding ultimately to put the 1st player tile on the floor line. Then, I would tell him I’m going to take my turn and then… I just didn’t… I just ghosted him for days! It sent him into a spin.
Oh, and I download that cool counting app.. I probably should have just done that.”
So, the Germans have lost their momentum, and the USA remain in the lead, but it’s not over yet.