Online Etiquette...

[Zamboni2u]

I'm sure there is a location or thread that speaks to "how to interact and play with others". I view BGA as I would going to a convention, where I would invite others (friends or strangers) to participate and usually start with, "Hi, thanks for joining in, where are you from" yet here on BGA there is very little interaction, not even a "hello", or "good Play" and heaven forbid, "Congratulations on the victory". Very cold and distant that is for sure.

Also, maybe a pet peeve category, but if someone is over on time, there seems to be no grace given considering international time differences, sleep duration or hell, life! I have noticed that many of those here do not give quarter, following a "you knew there was a time constraint when you registered, too bad". Not inviting nor gracious. Yes, I have been on the short end of the stick but I usually send a message saying I will be detained but yet it seems to be not enough; as if it is a victory strategy to wait for time to expire and then claim a win.

Just curious if I'm barking up the wrong tree with this thread.

Cheers!

[Meeplelowda]

I'm sure there is a location or thread that speaks to "how to interact and play with others".

There are many, many threads about saying gg, not saying gg, etc.

I view BGA as I would going to a convention, where I would invite others (friends or strangers) to participate and usually start with, "Hi, thanks for joining in, where are you from" yet here on BGA there is very little interaction, not even a "hello", or "good Play" and heaven forbid, "Congratulations on the victory". Very cold and distant that is for sure.

Also, maybe a pet peeve category, but if someone is over on time, there seems to be no grace given considering international time differences, sleep duration or hell, life! I have noticed that many of those here do not give quarter, following a "you knew there was a time constraint when you registered, too bad". Not inviting nor gracious. Yes, I have been on the short end of the stick but I usually send a message saying I will be detained but yet it seems to be not enough; as if it is a victory strategy to wait for time to expire and then claim a win.

Unfortunately, there are many--perhaps a large majority--of people who decidedly do not treat BGA like attending a convention. Maybe some people actually interact this way IRL, but I'm guessing the absence of face-to-fact interaction plays a large part. I occasionally run into people who do interact like you would at a convention, but it is exceedingly rare.

[MarkSteere]

In my experience, there's very little communication. If it's a newly added game, I'll issue a "Good luck" and a "gg." Same if it's my opponent's first time playing. Roughly about 75% the time I'll get a response. But if it's a game I've played every day for years, it's not their first time playing, and I win, I'll just make a mental comment, "You lose, xxxx." If I lose, it's, "xxxx." Then I just click the Next Game button without actual comment.

You're aware that you're playing against a person - probably someone you've played many times before. Pleasantries are implied and assumed. People just don't want to waste time with unnecessary formalities and delay moving on to the next game.

Occasionally people will strike up a conversation like this one yesterday in a game of Oust...

Them: "Hello, I'm taking the risk of bothering you, but you're one of my heroes. I love your games immensely."

Me: "No bother at all
Thanks, I appreciate the compliment."

Rarely there's a long conversation where someone has a question or suggestion about the design. I like to discuss my design philosophy at length.

I also play on a site dedicated to abstract games. Same thing there. Not a lot of GGs.

I can't relate to timeouts. I make several moves every day, and I never time out. If my opponent times out, I'll agree to an abandon. I don't want to punish anyone, and I totally don't care about my ratings. But at the same time, I don't have sympathy for people who time out and get penalized. If you want to play, play. If you don't, don't. But don't waste everyone's time by starting games and not moving.

[Jellby]

People who play in a convention, presumably like meeting people face to face. People who play in BGA do not necessarily enjoy actually meeting people and talking with strangers.

In a real-life game, you cannot do much more while you're playing, when it's not your turn, you can think about your next move and/or talk with the other players. In BGA you can do plenty of other things while you wait: read, fix dinner, paint your nails, write emails, work...

[FDHenneberg]

Yeah if there’s one thing I’ve learnt in my relatively short time in online boardgaming, it’s that you’re bound to be disappointed if you expect others to share you’re views what playing board games is about. Conceding, quitting, skipping, red thumbing, gg etiquette, undoing turns, hate drafting, blocking routes - there are endless discussions, and I’ve just stopped caring. Only thing we definitely all have in common is that we’re all here to play board games, and as long as there is no bullying in the chat, I’m fine with whatever. I’ve even changed my mind about some things, especially conceding.

As for etiquette: Before coming to BGA, I only played Wingspan on a Discord server I guess I’m not allowed to name. GLHF and GG were the bare minimum of communication there (like how are you or have a nice day - you don’t necessarily give a deep meaning to it, but you show that you have a friendly attitude), often there was friendly banter, even tough it was a rather competitive setting. So this was a massive change for me. But I found it relatively easy to adapt and I’m even more grateful for the few friendly and interesting chats I’ve had on BGA. That being said, I’m also grateful that not every game I play has a lot of chat interaction, bc sometimes, I just want to play and nothing else.

You might want to join a group, there is one called Talkative and friendly games (I’m new in that group, so far I’d say that it’s fine, friendly but also not overly talkative):

https://boardgamearena.com/group?id=1088438


Or if you have a favorite podcast, it might have both a Discord server and a BGA group. I’m in the Board Game Hot Takes group and find that there is normally significantly more exchange about the game as at a random table.

[FrankJones]

I find it baffling that people (I would say at least 35% maybe 40% of my games) cannot even bother to say "Hello" or something equivalent.

I mean, are there any cultures or settings in which that is considered appropriate?

I understand that "gg" and similar things can be interpreted differently.
But I am not aware of any situation in which stone cold silence is an appropriate reply to "Hi".

[nik592]

So what's worse then? Player who doesn't respond to Hi at all, or player does respond with Hi back and other player takes this as an opening to start a chat, asks a few questions, which the other player maybe answers politely at first, before eventually telling the first player that they're just not interested in chatting? I get why some people might prefer to just not respond Hi at all than have to go through some politeness or explain they don't want to chat (especially since some people who do want to chat can either take offense at being told their opponent isn't interested, and/or try to convince them to chat anyway and/or act like there's something wrong with someone who can't even engage in a small chat with their opponent, etc.).

Online gaming isn't exactly like a convention, though there are similarities. In person it probably is more expected that you'll at least exchange a greeting, though body language can be used to pretty easily indicate you're not interested in chatting further. That doesn't happen in an online environment.

And I speak here as an introvert who really doesn't feel like talking sometimes, but usually will say Hi back if it's offered (in my experience, mostly it isn't, and that's just fine with me).

[MarkSteere]

One guy plays all of my games for which I have tables open. He's been making several moves every day for years. I know he's capable of communicating, because he's spoken in the past. But for at least the past year he hasn't verbally responded to any attempts at conversation. I asked him to alpha-approve a couple of games recently, which he did, but without commenting.

It is mildly disconcerting, but I don't hold it against him. He's just someone who likes to play but, for whatever reason, known only to him, doesn't like to talk.

I appreciate my opponents responding to GLs and GGs, but I don't take umbrage when they don't. It's their prerogative. There might be a language barrier, or some psychological issue that makes conversation uncomfortable. Or they might just have the stance of, "I'm here to play, not talk," which is fine.