INTERNAL MEMO — OMNISCIENCE 2000
TO: All Agents (past, present, and pending)
FROM: Agency HR, Temporal Operations
SUBJECT: Release B5 — please read before, during, and after your shift
Team,
It has been another strong quarter here at the Agency, by which we mean the quarter has happened several times and we are pleased with most of them. A few updates:
1. Facilities has re-done the floorplans. We received a number of incident reports last cycle — clones standing inside each other, energy cubes filed in the wrong century, an agent who reported being "sort of diagonally in the Renaissance." The Era layouts have been recalculated from the ground up. Everything now sits where it is supposed to sit. If you were emotionally attached to your old position in the Age of Robots, please speak with your manager. (Bugs in board layout have been fixed.)
2. New assignment available: Ultramachina. We are pleased — and, per several treaties, legally required — to announce that the Ultramachina scenario is now open for scheduling. Highlights for prospective volunteers:
4. Language services. More of the agency's signage, paperwork, and end-of-the-world announcements have been sent for translation, because our workforce is distributed across many countries and, regrettably, many centuries. If you speak a second language — or call a second Era home — HR would love to hear from you, ideally at a time that has already happened. (More improvements have been made to translation support.)
5. The scenario reference card now explains itself. Hover over it and it will tell you the rules of the scenario you are currently living inside. This replaces the previous system, in which you asked the one coworker who read the rulebook. Please stop asking that coworker. They have not slept since the Dawn of Time and it is starting to show.
As always: if you observe anything irregular in your assigned Era — a doubled colleague, an unscheduled Vortex, correspondence from yourself dated next Tuesday — report it through the usual channels. Reports filed before the incident occurs will be accepted, but not acknowledged.
Warmly,
Agency HR
Omniscience 2000: it's the future! And the past!
This memo has been in effect since before it was written. Attendance Rewards do not roll over. Time off may not be taken retroactively; we checked.
TO: All Agents (past, present, and pending)
FROM: Agency HR, Temporal Operations
SUBJECT: Release B5 — please read before, during, and after your shift
Team,
It has been another strong quarter here at the Agency, by which we mean the quarter has happened several times and we are pleased with most of them. A few updates:
1. Facilities has re-done the floorplans. We received a number of incident reports last cycle — clones standing inside each other, energy cubes filed in the wrong century, an agent who reported being "sort of diagonally in the Renaissance." The Era layouts have been recalculated from the ground up. Everything now sits where it is supposed to sit. If you were emotionally attached to your old position in the Age of Robots, please speak with your manager. (Bugs in board layout have been fixed.)
2. New assignment available: Ultramachina. We are pleased — and, per several treaties, legally required — to announce that the Ultramachina scenario is now open for scheduling. Highlights for prospective volunteers:
- Dr. Foo has been moved to a fixed shift rotation. He now proceeds clockwise through the Eras, on time, every turn, without drawing a single card. HR notes with some discomfort that this makes him more reliable than any of our employees.
- His Ultramachina projects accumulate on the board and they must be dismantled by filling their progress slots with energy. Vortexes will not do this for you. Nothing will do this for you.
- Compensation update: Every agent receives an Attendance Reward at setup, before doing any work whatsoever. This is a one-time market adjustment.
- Complexity rating: High. Recommended for Employee of Eternity candidates, and for anyone who has already made a spreadsheet about The LOOP. (We know who you are. We have always known.)
4. Language services. More of the agency's signage, paperwork, and end-of-the-world announcements have been sent for translation, because our workforce is distributed across many countries and, regrettably, many centuries. If you speak a second language — or call a second Era home — HR would love to hear from you, ideally at a time that has already happened. (More improvements have been made to translation support.)
5. The scenario reference card now explains itself. Hover over it and it will tell you the rules of the scenario you are currently living inside. This replaces the previous system, in which you asked the one coworker who read the rulebook. Please stop asking that coworker. They have not slept since the Dawn of Time and it is starting to show.
As always: if you observe anything irregular in your assigned Era — a doubled colleague, an unscheduled Vortex, correspondence from yourself dated next Tuesday — report it through the usual channels. Reports filed before the incident occurs will be accepted, but not acknowledged.
Warmly,
Agency HR
Omniscience 2000: it's the future! And the past!
This memo has been in effect since before it was written. Attendance Rewards do not roll over. Time off may not be taken retroactively; we checked.